the frank and fritzy show
previous episodes

EPISODE 45: THE RACK
Fritzy's rave review of his backache-curing gizmo leads Frank to suggest that his pal hang out a shingle and start healing the masses. Also, some talk about the staffing situation at Vincent "Chin" Gigante's dingy Triangle Social Club. (6:13)

EPISODE 44: HANGIN' AROUND
Fritzy decides that hanging himself is the answer to his chronic back pain (and, of course, he's right). Frank then suggests a less drastic exercise regimen for his pal: lose the car and start hoofing it. (5:35)

EPISODE 43: FAMILY MAN
Fritzy's randy Italian uncle is planning a stateside visit and, though a pensioner, the Mastroianni wannabe is showing no signs of slowing down. Then, Fritzy regales Frank with a rambling joke he heard on TV. (7:22)

EPISODE 42: THE SCOOP
Frank dishes about the new squeeze of mercurial Genovese boss Vincent "Chin" Gigante. And Fritzy just eats it up. Also, some chat about providing for one's family on a wiseguy budget. (6:14)

EPISODE 41: FISHIN' AROUND
Fritzy lumps up a bit following a medical probe, but it looks like he'll live--provided he walks slowly and sticks to those "sweetwater" fish. Also, Frank and his gal accuse each other of fooling around. (5:22)

EPISODE 40: ISLAND HOPPING
Frank and his gal Helen treat a fellow who runs a few hotels down in the islands to dinner at a hot Italian restaurant. The grateful hotelier promises to return the favor and offers up some tips for the discriminating Caribbean traveler. (7:39)

EPISODE 39: MIDGETS AND CLOWNS
Fritzy's playing the numbers game with his blood pressure and weight, trying desperately to fend off that dreaded chicken neck. Frank has no such problem--in fact, a magic pill has got him thinking of trading in his beau for a newer model. (5:53)

EPISODE 38: MARKET BLUES
Fritzy and associate Harry Dickran realize that men of their ilk have no business messing around in the stock market. And Harry recalls the mistake of hiring a brother-in-law to work at his printing company. (5:17)

EPISODE 37: WHO'S THE BOSS?
Fritzy tells business associate Harry Dickran that he's going to enter the hog calling contest at the state fair. Mr. G also promises Harry an audience with his buddy, television star Tony Danza. (4:40)

EPISODE 36: ADONIS
Fritzy promises a night on the town to Frank and his girlfriend. But while his guests will enjoy monstrous portions of fine, rich foods, Mr. Giovanelli will be stuck with smaller, healthier servings. He's not going to mess with that new, God-like body of his. (4:16)

EPISODE 35: GARBAGE MEN
Fritzy rummages through the trash to salvage--and eat--some hot peppers that his wife tossed. Frank scolds his scavenging pal, warning that such unhealthy dietary practices will lead Mr. G straight to nearby St. John's Cemetery. (6:37)

EPISODE 34: WHAT A PEAR
Thanks to Motrin, Fritzy's feeling much better after getting rubbed the wrong way by a masseur. Then Frank explains why the seat of Vincent "Chin" Gigante's pants is chronically worn out. Maybe that's why the Genovese boss opts for those comfy pajamas! (3:52)

EPISODE 33: DOG HOUSE
Man's best friend? Fritzy and Genovese associate Angelo D'Acunto discuss the relative merits of women and canines. And it looks like, in a wiseguy world at least, the winner is in the dog house. (2:58)

EPISODE 32: BABBLING CROOK
Reading directly from his favorite nutrition book, Frank butchers the English language as he lectures Fritzy on the importance of water. Frankly, you haven't lived until you've heard California try to pronounce "reverse osmosis." (6:11)

EPISODE 31: ZAPPED
A variety of health concerns cause Fritzy to consider an "early to bed, early to rise" lifestyle. But this relaxed regimen probably won't sit well with some of his mob underlings, who've come to rely on Fritzy as a workaholic wiseguy. (6:10)

EPISODE 30: HOSE JOB
Frank undergoes a "high colonic" irrigation treatment--just like his newest friend, a 90-year-old nurse (who looks half her age). He excitedly and graphically recounts this cleansing experience to Fritzy, and urges his ailing pal to also take the plunge. (6:26)

EPISODE 29: POACHED EGG
When it comes to his sub-making expertise, Fritzy's not shy about tooting his own horn while chatting with pal Harry Dickran. Unfortunately, Harry missed out on one of Fritzy's fabulous heros, instead sampling some of Angelo's deadly sauce. Now Angelo better watch his back as Fritzy helps Harry cook up some revenge. (4:25)

EPISODE 28: UP THE LADDER
Bedraggled Frankie California is guzzling so much chicken soup that Fritzy thinks his pal is beginning to resemble a rooster. But no matter how bad either guy's health may get, Frank and Fritzy know the boss will not be giving them any sick leave. (3:20)

EPISODE 27: DEAD MAN SQUAWKIN'
Fritzy's talking with pal Zookie Esposito about Thanksgiving's highlight (those tasty meatballs!) and lowlight (Grade A marital strife). Zookie feels Fritzy's pain and offers his buddy a great story about his own difficulty juggling the wife and the girlfriend.(8:34)

EPISODE 26: THANKSGIVING
After an unfortunate case of mistaken identity, Fritzy feels like one of those wayward Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons pierced by a lamppost. Luckily, the deflated Mr. Giovanelli is able to find some solace in a heaping plate of meatballs. (4:04)

EPISODE 25: ROLLING BLACKOUTS
According to Frank, blackouts may be just what the doctor ordered to put Fritzy on the road to good health. Meanwhile, Mr. Giovanelli is pretty sure Vincent "Chin" Gigante's Thursday night companion is causing the boss some unintended stress. And while a little hug might help Chin relax, Frank's been running away from Fritzy's tender embrace. (6:00)

EPISODE 24: SQUEAKY WHEELS
Money is tough to come by--and even when you get some there's no guarantee you'll be around to enjoy it. From the "tough geezer" killed by hijackers aboard the Achille Lauro to a counterfeiter down on the bayou, Frank and Fritzy reflect on American ingenuity and creativity. (6:44)

EPISODE 23: YOUNG AND RESTLESS
Are Frank's girlfriend & Fritzy's wife cheating on our favorite wiseguys? Frank thinks it's a possibility. Fritzy, however, figures his new svelte figure and naturally beautiful skin will keep the missus in check. (5:04)

EPISODE 22: WEDDED DIS
The organized crime business isn't always a breeze. Frank, for instance, gripes about his long working hours and decrepit office. And he's also miffed that neither he nor Fritzy were invited to the swanky wedding of a Mafia associate. (5:25)

EPISODE 21: JUNGLE FRANK
Recalling his wartime service, Frank advises Fritzy to throw caution to the wind and try an alternative approach to a health problem. Also, a discourse on how to catch a deer, Giovanelli-style. (6:29)

EPISODE 20: ITALIAN HEART
Fritzy sings the praises of the Italian corpus and explains why there are so many paesans living in Ethiopia. And if he opts for that valve replacement, he'll be going strictly with imported parts. (3:24)

EPISODE 19: MONEY MAN
Fritzy brags about his lofty principles and shows off his financial management acumen. This much is certain: Giovanelli will not be counting on Uncle Sam to provide for his golden years. FYI: A break in the tape is marked with a brief piano interlude. (7:35)

EPISODE 18: THE LETTER
A ninth-inning rally steals Game Six of the World Series--and Frank provides the play-by-play. Plus the men recall a legendary heist where fellow wiseguys used a forged letter to rob the estate of a dearly departed Genovese soldier. (6:49)

EPISODE 17: RABBIT ISN'T RICH
Fritzy's having a great hare day. He feels like a kid again and cooks up a special treat for the family. The dish is a big hit with Mr. and Mrs. Giovanelli, but for young Freddie's sake, we think pops might want to remove Bugs's head next time. (6:53)

EPISODE 16: CONDOLENCES
Frank's mom has died and Fritzy comforts his pal the only way he knows how--with sympathetic talk about his own sick mother (and nagging wife). Chat eventually jumps to panhandling nuns, kooky Vincent "Chin" Gigante, turkey sandwiches at the Carnegie Deli, and the mysterious "The Bloomer." (7:43)

EPISODE 15: TWILIGHT ZONE
Fritzy feels like he puts out more than he gets in return. After setting up a friend in business, for example, he ends up with a prickly partner and some paltry payback. And he rues the day he hooked up with that swindler Rocky. And don't even ask about the wife, the girlfriend, and the roast beef. (7:19)

EPISODE 14: HOT TIPS
Fritzy has a couple of tips for Frank. First, it's off to the races as the guys wager a couple of C-notes on a friend's horse. But while talk of daily doubles and exactas perplexes Frank, he does seem to grasp Dr. Giovanelli's dental advice. (5:34)

EPISODE 13: THE BABE
While Fritzy messes with his blood pressure kit, Frank gushes about a young Italian honey who's just returned to New York. In the middle of this chat, a killjoy FBI agent turns off the tape recorder (we note this "minimization" with a short piano break) as Frank & Fritzy start talkin' baseball. (6:34)

EPISODE 12: FLOWER GUYS
There's a wake for "Big Jack" up in the Bronx, so Frank asks Fritzy to send flowers on his behalf. But since the dead guy is not so "close close," Fritzy wants to whittle down the price of the duo's floral tribute. So the birds will have to go. (4:37)

EPISODE 11: WAKE-UP CALL
Fritzy is homebound, sleeping his days away. Shaken by recent medical problems, he vows to change his unhealthy lifestyle. And while Frank is setting records with his high octane digestive output, Fritzy, loosely speaking, isn't even regular. (7:03)

EPISODE 10: GOOD DIE YOUNG
Frank kvetches about a lousy waiter (who doused him with water), his boss (who's running him ragged), and his squeeze (who's freezing him out of the crib). Oh, and he thinks he's not long for this world. (5:25)

EPISODE 9: NO CHANCE SALOON
Fritzy's friend is the rube in a fixed card game at the Triangle Social Club, where thief, um, boss Vincent "Chin" Gigante always wins. Frank gets a WW II history lesson from Fritzy, who speaks from experience: he was a child fascist back in the day. (6:11)

EPISODE 8: FACE THE FACTS
After discovering that his telephone has not been bugged--by his wife, no less--Fritzy turns philosophical. Pondering his eventual demise and its effect on his old lady, he offers a rip-roaring rendition of Mrs. Giovanelli tap dancing on his grave. (8:13)

EPISODE 7: I AIN'T NO RAT
It's a sad state of affairs for poor Fritzy. His wife wants him to leave the house, and he has a heart problem. Ignoring Frank's warning re: the clientele, he'll risk a gym visit to soothe his aching sciatica. But he did find time to make some homemade anisette with his young goumada. (7:40)

EPISODE 6: MAGNIFICENT
The guys compare diets. Frank is pumping iron and raving about B-12 nuggets. Fritzy's losing inches around the belly, but gaining them in a surprising place. It's gotta be that gassy soup. (7:17)

EPISODE 5: MIAMI'S CALLING
Fritzy is planning a trip to Florida with his goumada. Frank can come too, if he behaves. Professor Giovanelli brilliantly explains why it's healthier for crime boss Vincent "Chin" Gigante to take his famous pajama strolls in the dead of night. FYI, that's when all the radiators shut down. (5:41)

EPISODE 4: BANANA REPUBLIC
After Frank gets decent, the guys drool over the voluptuous star of a mummy movie showing on TV. A newspaper story reminds Fritzy of the time he and Frankie California almost went cruising at an infamous New York City sex club. (7:06)

EPISODE 3: BUNGALOW BAR
Frank and Fritzy side with a rapist while ridiculing his victim. Fritzy's been convalescing at home and nerves are wearing thin. An outburst directed towards his wife is met with some cold in-your-face retaliation. (8:09)

EPISODE 2: THE LADY IN RED
Serious talk about the physical and mental well-being of their boss, Vincent "Chin" Gigante, is interrupted as Frank & Fritzy put on their Siskel & Ebert hats--and it's thumbs up for Kelly Le Brock and George C. Scott. (5:12)

EPISODE 1: MOTHER HUMPER
An amused Frank gives Fritzy some heartfelt advice on the girlfriend front and recalls a dating miscue from his youth. And Fritzy almost chokes on a hot pepper. (5:31)

ACUPUNCTURE
The guys discuss pain relief strategies and a guy named Wong. Or was it Kong? Then it's on to the subject of virility and treatment for a mushy pipe. (2:54)

FART SPRAY
Sure, the Triangle Social Club is the heart of America's most powerful organized crime family. But that doesn't mean the Genovese gang's soldiers and capos don't enjoy a good laugh. Fritzy recalls a recent gag he pulled while armed with a can of fart spray. Frank wasn't amused. (1:00)

LONG WALK
Frank is not impressed with Fritzy's nature boy act. After a comparison of their daily dietary and exercise routines, Frank gives a thumbs down to Fritzy's taste for cabbage soup. But does Mr. Condo have a restaurant for you -- and, yes, the joint serves "piggies in the blanket." (3:29)

GIRL TROUBLE
Problems with the wife? Nothing Fritzy can't temporarily fix with a little loving and a few fazoolas. Problems with mother? Well, that's another story. Mom won't move from the old nabe -- but at least she doesn't hit Fritzy over the head with a cane. (3:42)

CODED TALK
Fritzy, carefully discussing business over the telephone, wants Frank to play messenger. But Frank has bad memories of "the guy that likes to go sailing." So Fritzy calls the whole thing off. You figure it out. (2:16)