the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 37

A chat with business associate Harry Dickran shows Fritzy to be always up to the task--whether it's cooking for Brooklyn Democratic honcho Meade Esposito or arranging a photo op with a Hollywood star. And we wouldn't bet against him in that hog calling contest, either. (4:40)

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FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
HARRY: Harry Dickran
UI: Unintelligible

Harry: [UI] you cooked all day Saturday.

Fritzy: Whattya talkin' about?

Harry: From our friend, I heard, I heard you did all the...

Fritzy: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ya know, I was gonna go out there Sunday...

Harry: Yeah.

Fritzy: ...and all day Saturday. I made a, a pulpa, pulpa salad.

Harry: Yeah.

Fritzy: Beautiful I made it, ya know? And I went out shoppin', I bought some stuff that he wanted and I had, I still, it's all upstairs 'cause it's all cold, it's all them hard salamis and the cheeses, ya know? So I got that upstairs and I bought a load, I bought, uh, double-rib lamb chops with just the knobs, ya know, I had all the ends cut off.

Harry: Right.

Fritzy: And I bought a load of that, bought steaks. I was gonna ride. It's thunderin', rainin', and rainin'. I says, "But what am I gonna do out there?" I'm gonna take two hours to drive out there, then stay in a house for six hours and drive back for two hours. I says, "Nah."

Harry: You went out there to cook.

Fritzy: No, no. I says, "I ain't goin' out there." I wouldn't mind, ya know, there's nothin' to really, uh, cook about. But, uh, the ride. I hate the, ya know.

Harry: Ah, it's a long fuckin' ride.

Fritzy: I'm goin' to the, uh, state fair, Schenectady state fair.

Harry: Yeah?

Fritzy: Uh, Friday. My wi, my daughter's jumpin' in the events up there, ya know?

Harry: Oh, terrific.

Fritzy: Yeah, so we're gonna spend a coupla days up there.

Harry: Oh, that's nice.

Fritzy: Hey, I may buy a coupla hogs, there's a hog, uh, callin' contest. I may join that.

Harry: Yeah? And...

Fritzy: Yeah, you go in there, you call the hogs, ya know, like, you hoot and holler.

Harry: And then whattya do, you, you keep it?

Fritzy: You ever see them farmers, they got the hog callin' contest and all that there?

Harry: Oh, yeah, I know.

Fritzy: They, they make all kind of sounds. They get a prize, they get.

Harry: This guy, you, you gettin' to be like Morris. You gettin' to be a real farmer.

Fritzy: Yeah, I'm gettin', I just, in fact you just reminded me, I gotta call him up.

Harry: How's he doin'?

Fritzy: Eh, I haven't heard from him in a month. I gotta, I just got a message here, "Call Morris."

Harry: Is he, is he, is he still married, or what?

Fritzy: No.

Harry: He divorced again?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Harry: God bless 'em. [UI] my idol. Ya know, ya know, hey, tell him I want a picture, I want an autographed picture of him on my wall.

Fritzy: Yeah. I'm gonna tell him.

Harry: Fuckin' guy [UI] I'll tell ya. You know something?

Fritzy: Wha?

Harry: I wish I had his conscience.

Fritzy: Yeah, you're right. Ya know?

Harry: Jesus Christ.

Fritzy: You wouldn't wanna have his conscience.

Harry: No, I want it, because...

Fritzy: You want it?

Harry: ...my conscience is killing me.

Fritzy: No, look, good.

Harry: [UI]

Fritzy: You wouldn't want it. That, Harry, then you would be, you would be a lot like him and because of that there I got away from him. There's a lot of things I didn't like.

Harry: Yeah, but...

Fritzy: Yeah. So, uh, ya know...

Harry: Every time I see him...

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