the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 22

Membership in the Genovese crime family may have its privileges, but try telling that to poor Frank, who's getting worn down by those long hours at the grungy and chilly Triangle Social Club. Also, neither Frank nor Fritzy were invited to a so-called friend's ritzy wedding, where guests included a bunch of politicos--and even a character called "The Rubber." (5:25)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: So whattya been doin'? You been drinkin' or...

Frank: Who's home? Nobody?

Fritzy: Nobody. No.

Frank: We went out last night. Me and QD.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah, we painted the town.

Fritzy: You're kidding?

Frank: Yup.

Fritzy: Yeah, where'd youse go?

Frank: We went to Marylou's. Yeah, we ate down there.

Fritzy: Just the two of youse?

Frank: And a few other people.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: That's nice. You had a good time?

Frank: Alright. Then he went back. I didn't go back.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: He must be sayin', "This cocksucker didn't come back." Heh-heh-heh.

Fritzy: Uh.

Frank: [UI] top of 'em all the time.

Fritzy: Uh, well.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: Ya know.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: [UI] whattya gonna do, ya know?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Whattya gonna do, whattya gonna do? In the meantime...

Frank: Hey, ya got your own life. Ya gotta have a little recreation. That fuckin' joint, ya can't be in there night and day.

Fritzy: That'll kill ya, California.

Frank: I know it.

Fritzy: They'll fuckin' kill ya, I'll tell ya.

Frank: That fuckin' dampness in there at three o'clock in the morning.

Fritzy: Ah. I don't know how the fuck, eh.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: I feel sorry for ya, I'll tell ya the fuckin' truth.

Frank: I ain't puttin' this winter in there.

Fritzy: I'll tell ya.

Frank: ...takin' off, I'm, I'm comin' home.

Fritzy: I feel sorry for ya.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah, I, I, with all my heart. Don't repeat, I don't wanna...

Frank: I'm not a fuckin' kid, you know.

Fritzy: ...I don't wanna fuckin' say it, but ah...

Frank: ...[UI] up every morning until two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning.

Fritzy: Ah.

Frank: That fuckin' place is like an iceberg.

Fritzy: Hey.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: If you don't feel good, go home.

Frank: Oh, yeah.

Fritzy: Go home.

Frank: Right.

Fritzy: You understand?

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: You know, say, "Hey, I'm gettin' weary, I can't take it. I got the chills."

Frank: Hmm.

Fritzy: "I got the pains. I got the pains. I got the chills." This fuckin' way ya get home a little earlier.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And you get up a little earlier and, and you change your routine a little bit, ya know what I mean?

Frank: Right.

Fritzy: Now, ya know. Look, I, I, how the fuck, I don't know how fuckin' long you could uh take it. I'll tell ya the fuckin' truth. Ya gotta take it, ya gotta take it.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: There's nothin' else, uh, to do, but I'm only sayin' that that's kinda fuckin', ya know, eh.

Frank: He's, he's not a, a considerate man, ya know? He's not a considerate man. He's always for himself, ya know, in other words.

Fritzy: I can't fuckin' believe, he'll give ya the, he'll give ya, fuckin' the shirt off his fuckin' back...

Frank: He'll rip ya in another one.

Fritzy: That's right. He'll fuckin' rip you to death. You're right, you're right.

Frank: Forget about it. He'll take the good out of everything.

Fritzy: Ah, marone a mi.

Frank: You could do so many things for so many years and then you make one little error and, uh, forget about it.

Fritzy: I know. I know, pal.

Frank: Ya know?

Fritzy: I know all about it, pal.

Frank: There's no lookin' at the good parts, ya know, the good years.

Fritzy: Ah.

Frank: Ya know?

Fritzy: I wish, uh, ya know, I wish I could talk to ya better. I can't talk to ya the way I would wanna talk to ya.

Frank: How's your wife? Alright?

Fritzy: Yeah. Ya know, uh, ya know, up and down, hot and cold. Ya know, like uh...

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Few days okay, everything is fine. All of a sudden, out of nowhere...

Frank: Everybody's cognito. Over there, that guy had a wedding in The Plaza, forget about it.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: That guy, what's his name in Brooklyn? You know who I mean.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: What a fuckin' wedding I hear he had.

Fritzy: Oh, you're just startin' to find out?

Frank: Mamma mi.

Fritzy: You're just startin' to find out?

Frank: The governor was there.

Fritzy: You're startin' to find out? Who the fuck is he kiddin'? Do ya, ya know, I gotta tell ya something, not for nothing. The governor was there, the fuckin' United States senator was there, the congressmen were there.

Frank: I know.

Fritzy: The, the fuckin' guy from Japan was there, the guy from, the ambassador from fuckin' Ekinawa, Okinawa was there. You, you make one fuckin' turn around the fuckin' bend [UI], you understand what I'm sayin'?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Who the fuck are they kiddin', who the fuck are they kiddin'?

Frank: Hmm.

Fritzy: Ya know, you know, really.

Frank: He had a little party [UI].

Fritzy: Well that's, look, ya know.

Frank: Huh. Mmm?

Fritzy: Eh, what can I tell ya, my friend?

Frank: The guy had some blowout, right?

Fritzy: Forget about it. You know, ya know why we didn't get a fuckin' invitation?

Frank: Mmm?

Fritzy: 'Cause he didn't want nobody to see who the fuck he invited.

Frank: No. He didn't, eh...

Fritzy: No?

Frank: [UI] gave ya an invitation.

Fritzy: Who?

Frank: Nah.

Fritzy: Hey, he knew...

Frank: [UI] everybody.

Fritzy: Pal, he knew how to bother me.

Frank: He gave even The Rubber.

Fritzy: Wha?

Frank: He gave The Rubber an invitation.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah. You know the guy that rubs me?

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: He, he, he got one.

Fritzy: He goes out there, to Brooklyn?

Frank: Yeah, he rubs 'em.

Fritzy: Oh, he does?

Frank: He lives out there.

Fritzy: Wha?

Frank: He lives near there, he knows, he's born around there.

Fritzy: Well, The Rubber is one thing. That don't mean nothin', but I'm...

Frank: I'm sayin' he gave him one, and ya know he's gonna tell, uh, who is that this guy everything, huh?

Fritzy: Yeah, well that don't mean nothin'. He gave him one too. He sent one to him.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Ya know?

Frank: Uh-huh?

Fritzy: But, uh, I just, I just...

Frank: You didn't get one, huh?

Fritzy: No. No.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: Not that, you know why?

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: He asked, he sent somebody personally for a couple of favors which I went out of my fuckin' way.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: And I done it. I went half a fuckin' dozen times, back and forth, back and forth. Now the wedding comes, he don't send a fuckin' invitation?

Frank: Hmm.

Fritzy: You know what I'm talkin' about?

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: Eh, you know something, I happened to be at the fuckin', I happened to be somewhere.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And I put some money in an envelope and sent it.

Frank: Oh, you did?

Fritzy: Yeah. In other words, I do one better.

Frank: That was nice of you.

Fritzy: Yeah, well, ya know, I turn around, so, so one guy had remarked, "He would've sent everything down."

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: But, uh, ya know. He just...

Frank: The other guy didn't want it.