EPISODE 11

A bedridden Fritzy, shaken by recent health difficulties, vows to change his evil ways. Talk then focuses on the digestive system, with Frank seeming to have set some kind of world record, and Fritzy -- following some bad advice from his boss, Dr. Vincent "Chin" Gigante -- suffering from Montezuma's Revenge. (7:03)

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: Hello?

Frank: Baba.

Fritzy: [In Italian, "What's going on?"]

Frank: You still in the crib?

Fritzy: Yes.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: Yes.

Frank: When are you getting out?

Fritzy: When am I getting out? I don't know, who the hell knows. I...

Frank: Your phone was busy.

Fritzy: I just talked to...who the hell'd I just talk to? I don't even know. I just answered the phone. What are you doing?

Frank: Watching Channel 5.

Fritzy: Yeah? I got the news on, I just dozed off.

Frank: About the gay community. About AIDS and everything.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Well, that's sad, really.

Frank: There's a woman here, she's married to a bisexual and she said she's happily married. She said she knows his lover and, uh, and the guy says to her, "Well, say if [UI] he was with a girl?" She says, "Then I would get mad."

Fritzy: In other words, but being he's with a guy she's not mad.

Frank: No.

Fritzy: Nice woman.

Frank: She's got children with him and every fuckin' thing.

Fritzy: [In Italian, says this sickens him]

Frank: [UI] says, "Ain't you afraid to get AIDS?" And there's another girl, she says, "I walked down the aisle, after I got married, I found out that he was, uh, a fuckin' fag."

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: "I almost committed suicide."

Fritzy: What are you doing? Just get up?

Frank: I'm up about an hour.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: I'm gonna do my exercises soon.

Fritzy: That's what I gotta start doing.

Frank: I took my seven and nine last night and [In Italian, says he made a beautiful bowel movement]. The colon came out.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: The whole colon [Italian for piece of excrement] it was like ten feet long.

Fritzy: You're cleaning yourself good, huh?

Frank: That's right.

Fritzy: I'm proud of ya, Cal.

Frank: I gotta watch this diverticulitis I got.

Fritzy: Well, let me tell you something. You just turn around and just eat foods that, without peanuts...

Frank: Yeah, nuts.

Fritzy: Seeds, you know, heavy stuff, where is it can lodge into those pockets.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And you know what happens, they become, like, infected. When they become infected, that's when you gotta go for something.

Frank: See the bacteria, no, the food in there becomes stagnant.

Fritzy: Yeah, right.

Frank: And then the bacteria eats the fuckin' poison food, [UI] gets sick, and then your insides get sick. There's bacteria in there cleaning you out.

Fritzy: But I'm telling you, but it becomes infected.

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