the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 46

In an earlier episode, Fritzy had some rather disparaging things to say about Wong, an acupuncturist recommended to him by Frank. But when it comes to matters of his well-being, even a cocksure Giovanelli is entitled to a change of heart. This week, Fritzy bites the bullet and rings up the good doctor to plan a visit. He then calls Frank and proudly shares the news. Note that the two calls are separated by a short piano interlude. (3:38)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
WONG: Doctor Wong
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: Hello?

Wong: Yeah?

Fritzy: Wong?

Wong: Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah, this is a Mr. Giovanelli.

Wong: Yeah.

Fritzy: A Mrs. Fong was supposed to call you, uh, and make an appointment for me.

Wong: Yeah.

Fritzy: You know Mrs. Fong?

Wong: [UI]

Fritzy: Mrs. Fong. Fong. F-O-N-G.

Wong: That's one of your friends. Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Wong: I know.

Fritzy: Uh, when can I come and make a visit with you?

Wong: Uh, you come a my house or, uh, my office?

Fritzy: Uh, to your office. When can I come?

Wong: Uh, tomorrow?

Fritzy: Tomorrow mornin'?

[PIANO INTERLUDE]

Frank: Hello?

Fritzy: How are you? I'm callin' you back.

Frank: What happened?

Fritzy: I got an appointment with Wong at ten o'clock tomorrow.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Yep. I'm going there tomorrow.

Frank: Ya gonna get the needles?

Fritzy: For the spears. He's givin' me the spears, he said.

Frank: [UI]

Fritzy: Not the needles, the needles are too small for me.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: He said, "The gorilla body needs spears."

Frank: No kiddin'?

Fritzy: Yep.

Frank: He's gonna give you the spears, huh?

Fritzy: Uh-huh. So, I just want ya to know that tomorrow mornin' I'm goin'.

Frank: You let me know what happens. Huh?

Fritzy: I, you know what? My son has been goin', complainin' about his shoulder. And he was gonna go to LaRosa, one of the top, top, uh, shoulder men.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: I'm gonna take him also tomorrow.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: So we're gonna do a, two, two-Giovanellis-for-one.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: We're gonna go tomorrow.

Frank: Ya gonna go then, huh?

Fritzy: That's it.

Frank: I wish ya luck. Whattya, stayin' home?

Fritzy: No, I gotta go out soon. I gotta, I must go.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Yeah. But what are you doin'?

Frank: Watchin' TV.

Fritzy: Relaxing?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Did you eat?

Frank: Had some, chicken soup.

Fritzy: Again?

Frank: Yup.

Fritzy: Why don't ya have a piece of fish?

Frank: Eh, I like the soup, I like that.

Fritzy: I know you like that, but that's no good for ya, the...

Frank: Vegetables and everything.

Fritzy: Makes ya fart a lot.

Frank: Nah, it's nice.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Better for ya.

Fritzy: Alright. I'm glad, ya, you sound...

Frank: No salt, no nothin'. It's the good...

Fritzy: You sound like you're, you're resting. I think you really needed it. You startin' to sound like you really needed it, Frank.

Frank: The son-of-a-bitchin' thing don't wanna get out of me.

Fritzy: It'll go outta ya. It'll go outta ya.

Frank: Huh.

Fritzy: It'll go out, ya know, you got a humidifier?

Frank: No.

Fritzy: I woulda bought it for ya. I woulda give ya, I woulda gave you one.

Frank: [UI]

Fritzy: [Aside] Send her up. Whattya gotta spit? He's cough, he's coughin' up.

Frank: [UI] Freddie.

Fritzy: Listen to me. Is, uh, Helen there?

Frank: Yeah, she's sle, layin' down.

Fritzy: Alright. When she gets up after, let her rub your back with a little, uh, alcohol. Ya hear?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: But let her, like, close her fists and pound your back a little bit.

Frank: I put the, the Vicks on.

Fritzy: Yeah, I know, but let her, let her give ya like a drum beat on your back, ya know, around your lungs and all that there? Let her give ya like a little tom-tom: boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All on the back.

Frank: Mmm.

Fritzy: This way you shake everything while you’re using that medication.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Ya loosen up all that shit, ya spit it up.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: They do that in the hospital, ya know?

Frank: The alcohol?

Fritzy: No, no, the alcohol, but the bangin’. They give ya the tap, the, uh…

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: The, the little, ya know, anytime ya got anything with the lungs they give ya the, the vibrate, what they got now is like a vibrating machine. And they put it on your back.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And it bounces, like, it, uh, it pulsates on your back.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: So instead of pu, pulsatin’, ya don’t have that machine, you use your fists like the bottom of your fists when ya clench it?

Frank: Mmm.

Fritzy: Just let her beat, beat like she’s beatin’ a drum, ya know?

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: Do that. Do that, make sure ya do that.

Frank: Alright.

Fritzy: Alright, Cal.

Frank: Okay. Wish ya luck tomorrow.

Fritzy: Alright, pal. I just wanted, I wanted to tell ya about .Wong.

Frank: Alright.

Fritzy: Alright. Bye-bye.