the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 25

As Frank sees it, Fritzy's blackouts may actually have helped save his pal's life. After discussing how he keeps his "cardiovascular going," Fritzy ponders whether Vincent "Chin" Gigante's Thursday night liaisons may be detrimental to the health of the Genovese family boss. And while Fritzy's pleased with his dandy new shrubs, he's bummed that Frank runs the other way when he's looking for a little hug. (6:00)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: Hello.

Frank: I finally got you, huh?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: You're home. It's about time. And you better stay there.

Fritzy: You fin, you finally got me...

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: ...and I'm home and it's about time?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah, I went, I went shoppin' for shrubberies today. That's why I was out today.

Frank: [Aside to girlfriend] He went for shrubbery, ya hear?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: He went for shrubbery for the gorilla stuff, he went so he could eat.

Fritzy: Well, no we need...

Frank: He got stuff which you could eat off of.

Fritzy: Nah, nah I had to put it around the, I had new brick work done around the front, so I had to turn around and put some beautiful...

Frank: You know you talk like...

Fritzy: ...berry, berry plants. I bought everything with berries.

Frank: [Aside to girlfriend] Ya hear? I told you what he bought. I knew right away. He bought shrubbery, but it's berries where you could eat. They could take 'em to eat 'em.

Fritzy: How is, ah, how is, ah, that guy's, ah, whattya call it, cardiogram?

Frank: I don't know what he's got. He's, he's all upset ya know. He's, ah, he's got...

Fritzy: If he's upset, then he musta got a bad report.

Frank: Yeah, he's gotta have somethin' done.

Fritzy: No kiddin'.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: I'll come and see him after, ah, not tonight but tomor...

Frank: Nah, you stay home. Whattya, tomorrow it's rainin', stay home.

Fritzy: That's alright, I gotta come in. I gotta hug him and...

Frank: You gotta hug your ass, you gotta hug.

Fritzy: Why, why?

Frank: He's gotta hug you.

Fritzy: Why didn't you hug me? You ran away. You had, you had only one thing in your head last night. You breezed, I, I went down the block and youse were gone.

Frank: We hadda go.

Fritzy: I know.

Frank: The meetin'.

Fritzy: I know, I know.

Frank: These garbage [UI].

Fritzy: I know.

Frank: [UI]

Fritzy: I know.

Frank: Oh, what phony bastards they are.

Fritzy: Hah?

Frank: [UI]

Fritzy: You'll learn.

Frank: How do you feel Freddy?

Fritzy: Very good.

Frank: Hah, I miss you pal.

Fritzy: Very good, very good. I tell ya I feel very good.

Frank: You had to come and I run away all the time.

Fritzy: Ah, that's okay. So long as I see you, that's what counts.

Frank: I like to tease you when you're playin'.

Fritzy: I know, I know, I know. You're the, you're [UI].

Frank:[UI] stress test, huh?

Fritzy: The what? Yeah [UI]. So now, today, I don't believe, I got every piece of equipment in my, my basement.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: That you would need to stay, and keep your cardiovascular going.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And all I was doin' was lookin' at it.

Frank: You're lookin' at it, huh?

Fritzy: Lookin' at it on my way out. But now I'm usin' it. Today I got on the bike.

Frank: You're changin' a whole new life, right?

Fritzy: I have to.

Frank: You gotta, sure, otherwise...

Fritzy: Lemme tell you something pal. You know what he told me? "You're a very lucky guy."

Frank: No kiddin'

Fritzy: "You're a very lucky guy."

Frank: [UI] that was the best thing that happened up at Bobby's house.

Fritzy: [UI]

Frank: Right?

Fritzy: It happened three times before.

Frank: I'm sayin', up there.

Fritzy: It was so hot. He had, he had a boiler room up there.

Frank: That was the best for you.

Fritzy: So I went up.

Frank: Scared you.

Fritzy: So I went up there.

Frank: I saw you outside and [Italian], "What happened to you?"

Fritzy: I says, "I went black."

Frank: You [UI].

Fritzy: I went black.

Frank: He was laughin', he thought it was, ah, we were kiddin'.

Fritzy: Kiddin'? I went black, everything went black on me. I grabbed the goddamn walls, I grabbed the side, I...

Frank: No, no, no.

Fritzy: [UI] blind, I went. You know what blind...

Frank: [UI] cookin', right away he wants to go one better than you, he's gonna make his gravy, his meatballs.

Fritzy: But I don't care about that there, that doesn't...

Frank: But why do they do this? I don't understand.

Fritzy: I don't care about that.

Frank: What?

Fritzy: The point, the point is this here, like you said. It's the best thing that coulda happened because...

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: I was, I was actually cookin' all the while. In other words, my body was cookin'.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: My body was cookin'. And the more I was goin' the more it was cookin'. The same pattern I was doin', the same thing. Come, go, up, down, in, out. Fourteen, sixteen hours a day. Bam-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom. Come do it, let's got out, let's go here, go there, do this, do that. Bee-bee. Boom-boom, boom-boom, boom. But every [UI] time, boop, I go black.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Rocky was with me one time. Alright? I says, "What the hell is, oh, okay." It cleared right, and ya know, it didn't take long.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Cleared up. So I was in the car sittin' down. This is the first time it happened I was standin' up. But it was like...

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: The other time in Pennsylvania, on the parkway. I pulled right over, I'm doin' eighty miles an hour, sixty miles an hour.

Frank: At least now you saw the light.

Fritzy: I saw...

Frank: But the other guy didn't see the light. He thinks he's gonna go on and on and on.

Fritzy: Yeah, he does, he's, he's got...

Frank: [UI] was in Joe's Restaurant over...

Fritzy: Ho-ho, ho-ho-ho.

Frank: Another sick man.

Fritzy: Oh, marone.

Frank: Sick fuckin' man.

Fritzy: Marone.

Frank: She's, she's [UI], she was down again.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Don't say anything, you know.

Fritzy: I won't say two words.

Frank: This guy is crazy.

Fritzy: Did he, did he take a stroll?

Frank: He talks about us, you got the...

Fritzy: Did he, did he take a stroll there?

Frank: No, he didn't go, he was staying. He got these reports, forget about it.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: I had to go tell her that, forget about it.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: Yeah, this became an every Thursday night thing now.

Fritzy: Alright.

Frank: He looks at the youth, you know.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: You know.

Fritzy: I know.

Frank: He talks about you the youth, and me the youth. And this and that and the meantime. Boom, ba-boom. He's goin' like a...

Fritzy: He's going, he's going for a third.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: He's going for a third, a third bypass.

Frank: Ya see, but it's good for him they do this little [UI]. It's good.

Fritzy: Can I tell ya somethin'?

Frank: He needed it.

Fritzy: If, this is the best thing in the world for him, but in the meantime, if he's gonna start. I, I maybe it, maybe it's no good.

Frank: No good. Ya know why?

Fritzy: I'll tell you why. Because maybe he's a little...

Frank: He don't get his proper rest.

Fritzy: You wanna know somethin', maybe he's a little nervous over it.

Frank: Too much stress.

Fritzy: You understand what I'm sayin'? Maybe he's, he like, he likes the idea and then he don't like the idea.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: So maybe, you know, ya, you follow what I'm sayin'. So maybe it's, it's botherin' him a little bit.

Frank: Mike the Whistler came down last night.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: And?

Frank: And the way he says, he don't need nothin', you're alright and this and that. To me this guy is a [Italian].

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: You ever see this guy drink?

Fritzy: Hey, look, you know somethin'? We had a lot of doctors that didn't mean, ya know what I told 'em, ya know what I told 'em while we were playin'? I says, "Lemme tell you somethin'. My father's medicine, he used to take the brandy. And he used to take the whattya call it? He didn't wanna listen. But that was because all the other med, with medicines, they kill ya. They kill ya. You keep taking this, which they do." I says, "Leave California alone, let him drink." I swear to God. I told him that last night.

Frank: What he say?

Fritzy: I says, "Leave California and let him drink."

Frank: What he say?

Fritzy: He laughed. He, he started laughin'.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: It's like he nodded, "Maybe you're right."