the frank and fritzy show

FRANK: What?

FRITZY: Me and my baby.

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: Me and my friend. What do you think we done?

FRANK: What?

FRITZY: I made, uh, homemade anisette.

FRANK: Homemade what?

FRITZY: Homemade anisette.

FRANK: Yeah?

FRITZY: Yeah. With the 190 proof.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: I cut it down. You know, I reduced it with the sugar, I cooked the sugar.

FRANK: Uh-huh.

FRITZY: I put the flavor in. The best anisette you ever wanna taste.

FRANK: Uh-huh.

FRITZY: Marone, forget about it. Then I made an apricot brandy, but I don't like the apricot.

FRANK: Yeah?

FRITZY: Yeah. That's why...she didn't understand, now I realize why it don't taste good.

FRANK: How come you doing all this?

FRITZY: 'Cause a friend of mine sent me some, uh, 190 proof from Florida. It's legitimate down there. You can buy it legal, you know?

FRANK: Uh-huh.

FRITZY: You know, you buy it legal down there. You buy it in the regular liquor store. Sure. You buy it, you pay it, and this way you can use it. There's no problem with it. Like over here, years ago, the guys they used to bootleg to get 190 proof. Now you buy it legitimate. And it's cheaper. So what else is new?

FRANK: Nuttin' much.

FRITZY: So you got a cold.

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: You need Jack La Lanne, so you can use the steam rooms and the baths and massages.

FRANK: Yeah, I know.

FRITZY: That's what you need. Too bad you don't live in a building that's got something like that.

FRANK: No.

FRITZY: That's why you gotta move uptown, you gotta find a nicer place.

FRANK: Yeah, I'll be with the fuckin' fags, taking a steam bath.

FRITZY: Why? Only fags take steam baths?

FRANK: Who the fuck wants to go in those places?

FRITZY: I mean, only fags take steam baths?

FRANK: Who wants to go in those places now?

FRITZY: All of sudden fags just take steam baths.

FRANK: Who do you think goes in all those gyms?

FRITZY: Hey, don't, don't say that thing. I'm getting ready to go.

FRANK: Where you goin?

FRITZY: I got the sciatica, my fuckin' sciatica's fuckin' bothering me for the longest time. So I'm gonna try to get these pains out of my body, so I...

FRANK: Uh-huh.

FRITZY: Maybe somebody'll stick something in my ass when I'm turning over there, who knows?

FRANK: How's your wife and everything?

FRITZY: Eh. Bullshit.

FRANK: Same thing?

FRITZY: It's calming down, you know. But what good is it? You know, you get blow after blow after blow, you know. She's sleeping in another room, she's sleeping downstairs. I don't care about that, I'm sleeping better anyhow. But, you know, it's, it's too much on, on everybody.

FRANK: She's not leaving no more?

FRITZY: What?

FRANK: She's not packing?

FRITZY: She wants me to pack, what the fuck you talking about?

FRANK: She wants you to get out?

FRITZY: She wants me get out.

FRANK: [UI] you're crazy...

FRITZY: I says, "I ain't goin' no place. What, you want me to get out? I broke my ass to put up every fuckin' nail over here, you wanna throw me out? Go to court, go get fuckin' court orders or what not to get me out. Get a divorce and then come with the papers and if the judge says I gotta get out."

FRANK: Umm.

FRITZY: She says, "I ain't no rat," she says. She says...

FRANK: By the way, you see what that guy...

FRITZY: She says, "I ain't no rat."

FRANK: Tell her you go to court...

FRITZY: In other words, she ain't going to court. So I says, "Don't break my balls," I told her. "You live there, I live here. There's enough room in this house for the two of us."

FRANK: Tell her, "If you go to court and the judge tells me to get out, you see the guy did with the bulldozer? There'll be a fuckin' bulldozer here."

FRITZY: Nah. Nah.

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