the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 7

Woe is Fritzy. He has a heart murmur and plans a trip to the gym (where he'll be watching his back) to ease his sciatica. His wife wants him out of the house. But like a good wiseguy, Carol won't snitch on her man--she'd prefer him to leave on his own. Thank God for the solace of Hungarian sausage and 190 proof. (7:40)

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

FRANK: Hello.

FRITZY: How are you?

FRANK: Hey. Where the hell have you been?

FRITZY: Where've I been?

FRANK: You're never home.

FRITZY: Hey, you calling me at the wrong time. Whattya mean I'm never home?

FRANK: Wrong time? I thought you went on vacation.

FRITZY: What vacation?

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: You make me laugh. You called my mother, right?

FRANK: I spoke to your mother.

FRITZY: Right. I, I know.

FRANK: You know?

FRITZY: By the time I call you, you're gone.

FRANK: I'm gone?

FRITZY: By the time I get the message, I call your house, you're gone. You're already gone.

FRANK: Yeah?

FRITZY: Yeah. I've been calling you back.

FRANK: You didn't call over here though.

FRITZY: I've been calling the other number.

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: I've been calling the other number.

FRANK: Yeah, over here you gotta call.

FRITZY: What do I know? How come I always got you at the other number?

FRANK: How come you got me here now?

FRITZY: Because I tried the other number.

FRANK: Ah! You see?

FRITZY: Alright.

FRANK: How do you feel?

FRITZY: Eh. Like that, you know. One day good, one day bad.

FRANK: What's new?

FRITZY: Eh, same thing, same thing. Just movin' along.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Yeah. How's everybody?

FRANK: Alright. Everybody's alright.

FRITZY: How's your aunt?

FRANK: Looking for an apartment.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: [UI]

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: He's gone.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: [UI] got him.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: Marone.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: I'm happy.

FRANK: Yeah, I know.

FRITZY: Yeah. You don't, you don't understand.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: You gotta lighten up a little bit.

FRANK: Yeah, lighten up.

FRITZY: You expect him to go home?

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: Dracula's looking for new blood.

FRANK: I know.

FRITZY: You oughta know that, what's the matter with you?

FRANK: I've been sick with a bad cold.

FRITZY: You have?

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: And what are you doing for it?

FRANK: Eh, what am I doing?

FRITZY: What do you think I did yesterday?

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