EPISODE 17

Fritzy's breathing like a 20-year-old and having one of his best days ever--and he's taking steps to protect this newfound vigor. He's cooked up a cholesterol-free treat for the whole family, but Fritzy's kids aren't fooled when dad tries to pass off the dish as veal (though it probably tastes like chicken). Maybe they'll let Frank's brother have the leftovers. (6:53)

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FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: Today's my best day I ever had in I can't remember when.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: Today's the best day I've ever had, so far.

Frank: You had a good day?

Fritzy: No, in other words, it's one of the best days I've had. I can't remember feelin' so good.

Frank: Thank God.

Fritzy: I can't remember feelin' this good. Like, the, I must've been walkin' around really [In Italian, sick.]

Frank: Why doncha go to church and say a prayer?

Fritzy: I said it. I did already.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: I did already.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Sure. I went this mornin'. What, are you kiddin' me? The best, best day I've had. I can't believe, I even told my wife, I says, "You know, I...I'm startin' to breathe like I was 20 years old."

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: No kiddin'?

Fritzy: Yeah. How are ya?

Frank: Alright, Freddie.

Fritzy: Did you make, uh, Kansas City? Like my son told ya to bet?

Frank: No.

Fritzy: You didn't. You went the other way?

Frank: I didn't bet.

Fritzy: You didn't?

Frank: Nah.

Fritzy: Oh, alright. I just wanna know. See, two to one, you woulda had the dog.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: You know? Whattya eatin'? I hear ya munchin'.

Frank: Slice of toast and a cup of coffee.

Fritzy: Yeah? I was tryin' to get you, your line was busy.

Frank: I, my cousin come in from Florida.

Fritzy: Yeah? Here to visit ya or what?

Frank: Well, they, I saw them last night over my brother's.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: And they called me up. They wanna go to dinner tomorrow, so I'm gonna meet them at Joe's at 6 o'clock.

Fritzy: That's nice.

Frank: Ya know?

Fritzy: That's good.

Frank: I'll take Œem to eat...

Fritzy: I put my mother in the hospital.

Frank: What happen?

Fritzy: She, may, she had little strokes, she had with that, that thing that happened, ya know? So, what they're doin' now is, I brought her yesterday, they done a CAT scan on her, then they doin' the, uh, whattya, whattya call that brain thing, the key, the E-K-G or K-somethin'? E-G-G-K or somethin'?

Frank: Somethin' like that...

Fritzy: Somethin' like that. They're doin' that and, uh, they're checkin' her kidneys out, they're doin' all different work on her.

Frank: How'd ya like this, huh?

Fritzy: Yeah, I know.

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: I know. I know.

Frank: One thing after the other, huh?

Fritzy: I know. I know. But, she was battlin' right along and, uh, I was seein' all different sides, her reactions, uh, ya know. She's startin' to act funny, like she gets stubborn and, uh, just make up her mind a certain way. And she never was that way, ya know?

Frank: The same thing happened to what's-his-name's mother.

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