Fritzy: Ya know what I told him? Ya know what I told him? I said, "I gotta tell you somethin'. You're the fuckin' cause of me fuckin' eatin' wrong here." I says, [UI]. I says, "When every fuckin' Saturday you're telling me, 'Bring the cold cuts, bring the fuckin' shit.'"

Harry: Yeah.

Fritzy: "And I come over like a fuckin' jerk, and I bring it, ya know? And we sit down and what am I lookin' at? You ain't giving me what I need. A little piece of broiled chicken, or something like, ya know, plain. I'm eatin' that fuckin' shit, too," I says. "And this and that and what not," I says. "And I'm eatin' all the fuckin' garbage you're eatin'."

Harry: Those luncheon meats.

Fritzy: But I says, "But I'm, I'm the best hero sandwich maker in the world. Forget about it. There's nobody knows how to make it better than me," I says. With the olive oil on top, with the, the mozzarellas, with the, all the cold cuts and dippins and the roasted peppers inside there. I says, "There's nobody who knows how to make a, uh, a hero," I says. "But Goddamnit, I, I need one guy to kick me off. And you're the guy."

Harry: He's gotta, see, he's gotta make you, like, some bean salads or pasta fagiole. Ya know...

Fritzy: I don't eat. Lemme tell you somethin'. I...

Harry: [UI]

Fritzy: You know, see, you don't know. It's not good for you. Don't, don't buy it.

***

Fritzy: I know, I know.

Harry: You can't do that.

Fritzy: That's why. See, you can't wash 'em out when you dump the can. You can rinse 'em and soak 'em.

Harry: Yeah, but there's still salt in there.

Fritzy: Yeah, because they're cooked for two hours with salt, and the salt is in there.

Harry: It's still in the beans.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Harry: What's the difference?

Fritzy: Yeah. Because of the cookin'.

Harry: Ya know, one of your friends made me a sauce Saturday night that knocked me on my fuckin' ass.

Fritzy: Who's that?

Harry: Angelo.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Harry: That fuckin' guy. Ya know, he talks me into a sauce that he says he and his wife just made in the kitchen. Ya know, I went, after the, the people I was with at that dinner Saturday.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Harry: The Columbus Club dinner.

Fritzy: Yeah, yeah.

Harry: They got bored, so, they, they said, "Let's go to Ponte's and eat. Fuck this place."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Harry: Ya know, with this, uh, uh, uh...

Fritzy: Bullshit that's taking forever.

Harry: They had a filet of sole which came off the guy's shoe, for Christ's sake. Unbelievable. Two thousand dollars to eat this shit.

Fritzy: Imagine that.

Harry: Yeah, so we left about 9:30, 10. We went down there, 'cause, ya know, he, he was sittin' with me and he left early.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Harry: So I met him down. He said, "Don't order." He says, "I want, I want you to taste this macaroni." He said, "I brought the sauce from home." He must have had, fuckin', uh, peppers and onions and you name it, in that sauce. You know something, within a fuckin' hour...

Fritzy: You had a diarrhea.

Harry: I couldn't breathe, I couldn't do anything.

Fritzy: You're kid...

Harry: It killed me.

Fritzy: No kiddin'.

Harry: Ooof, oof. When I get 'em down in the Islands, that son of a bitch.

Fritzy: You'll get even.

Harry: I'm going to give him...

Fritzy: You'll give him, you'll, you'll cook some poached eggs for him.

Harry: I'll give him a poached egg that he couldn't get out of his ass.

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