the frank and fritzy show
EPISODE 5

The guys discuss a possible Florida sojourn, the supposed merits of nighttime air, and the nocturnal antics of Genovese boss Vincent "Chin" Gigante, who kept an exasperated Frank out until 4 AM that morning. And as for that proposed trip south, the married Fritzy will take Gail, his goumada (a/k/a his "chef" or "nurse"). Frankie will bring his running shoes and a fishing pole. (5:41)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo

FRITZY: What I had planned to do, as soon as I had gotten a little better, was to go to Florida, just to take a week or two down there, get some...

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: ...and the water, you know, just some breathin' and that's a good health, you know...

FRANK: I'll go with you.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: I got my brother's condominium down there, we'll stay there.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Well, I got something coming up, that's why I...

FRANK: We'll stay in Pompano.

FRITZY: No.

FRANK: My brother ain't using it for that time. He's here now with his wife.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Yeah, he's got a beautiful place, right across the street from the beach.

FRITZY: Yeah, that's where I wanna be. But I'm bringin' a goumada down there, fuck you. I'm looking for an excuse to, to have a little company, you know.

FRANK: Ah, you're crazy you should go alone and rest.

FRITZY: [In Italian, Fritzy asks Frank to keep quiet and not discuss trip.]

FRANK: You should rest.

FRITZY: Whattya think I'm gonna do.

FRANK: You gotta rest.

FRITZY: Whattya think I'm gonna do.

FRANK: You go with me you rest.

FRITZY: I rest, I rest alright. I won't rest. With you I will not rest.

FRANK: Why?

FRITZY: Nah, you don't wanna go to bed when I go to bed.

FRANK: Who?

FRITZY: I'm an early bird. You're like a vampire, you out 'til 5 in the morning.

FRANK: You forgot I lived with Fat Dom?

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: Who used to go take care of Fat Dom down there? Me. Cut his toenails, lived with 'em.

FRITZY: Whattya think I'm crippled or something?

FRANK: No, I'm just sayin', I was with Fat Dom. I used to go with Fat Dom. I used to sleep and had my own room there and everything.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: We used to watch television at night, cook in the morning, make my breakfast.

FRITZY: Yeah? You wanna come down? I'll tell ya what, I'm expectin' this apartment I'm getting, ya' hear? 'Cause I made some arrangements, I'm tryin' to get it.

FRANK: How many rooms?

FRITZY: I don't know yet, they're gonna let me know. Alright. As soon as I'm all together, then you come down. I'll give you a little stanzine [Italian for small room], I'll give ya'. But I'll be in the master bedroom with my baby. And I'm locking the fuckin' door at night. Ah, I miss ya'.

FRANK: I miss ya.

FRITZY: At least I'll break your balls a little bit, I mean. What's doing?

FRANK: Alright.

FRITZY: Everything alright?

FRANK: Yeah, everything's alright.

FRITZY: How's my man's love life, alright?

FRANK: So far there was no move this week.

FRITZY: No, hah?

FRANK: What's today, Wednesday?

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Today or tomorrow.

FRITZY: Yeah, huh.

FRANK: Yeah, they'll be a move

FRITZY: Yeah, alright, that's...okay...he'll keep you out 'til six in the morning, that's the move. When I know, when I see you sleeping at 3 o'clock in the afternoon I'll know right away.

FRANK: Four o'clock this morning, went to bed.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Uhh...

FRANK: He's walking in the streets last night. And the dampness. He's crazy, whattya gonna do?

FRITZY: Well, I'll tell you something. The fuckin' air is cleaner then than during the fuckin' day.

FRANK: It's the worst time, they say.

FRITZY: What?

FRANK: The night air is no good.

FRITZY: Well, in this city, I gotta disagree with ya'.

FRANK: But I know what you mean, but the night air is no good. You're supposed to be in bed before 12 o'clock. Early to bed and early to rise.

FRITZY: Yeah, but, you see, lemme tell you something, that used to be fine and that's true in what you're saying. But as far as breathing air and clean air, that's the hour to breathe it.

FRANK: Yeah, it was damp.

FRITZY: I know, but it's still clean air at that hour. Because after 11 o'clock, a lot, you see all the heat, Frankie, all the heat, all the stoves, all the radiators, they shut down. The restaurants, they stop cooking at 10 o'clock. The heat from the buildings, they stop the chimney smoke at 11 o'clock. So it takes about three hours to clear up. So from the hours of, say, 3 o'clock in the morning to about 6 o'clock in the morning, is the cleanest you're ever gonna find it.

FRANK: Then you stay up then. It'll be a good idea.

FRITZY: Hey, I gotta, I gotta come out and breathe at night and sleep all day.

FRANK: Yeah,

FRITZY: Uh, oogatz. I got one better. Fuck New York, go down to where the air is clean.

FRANK: Oh, yeah.

FRITZY: Fuck that, I ain't gonna fuckin' die. Two days I can't fuckin' breathe. Two days, three days. Today just a little better.

FRANK: Uh, huh.

FRITZY: So, mainly that's what the hell I got in my head. I said, 'Lemme see if the air will help me out.'

FRANK: You can't breathe?

FRITZY: I get, it gets tight on me, that's all. It could be allergies, it could be anything, you know? But it must be allergies because of the smog that's hitting me in the fucking chest. So, I'm, I'm very sensitive.

FRANK: I think Miami's calling you. Miami, come on down.

FRITZY: Nah.

FRANK: Come on down...

FRITZY: I wanna see if it does me any good, anyhow, but you know.

FRANK: Yeah, but you gotta go with me though.

FRITZY: Hey, Frankie, I love ya, you come down, I'll have the room for ya. But I got my own, I got my own chef. I got...

FRANK: Ah, you gotta rest the other way.

FRITZY: Hey, what rest, I'll rest. I won't rest with you because you wanna go out and drink.

FRANK: No, no.

FRITZY: At least my, look, look, my, my girl don't drink. She don't smoke.

FRANK: You don't know me, I'm a beachcomber.

FRITZY: Okay.

FRANK: If I go down there, I won't even drink, I'll be on the beach.

FRITZY: Hey, I got my...

FRANK: I'll be up early in the morning...

FRITZY: I got my nurse.

FRANK: I go fishing and everything.

FRITZY: You come with me, we'll go everywhere, but I got my nurse. My nurse is coming with me. That's all.

FRANK: I don't go drinking. If I go down, when I go down for a rest. When I went for a rest one time, I stay there, I get up, I fish, I go on the boats.

FRITZY: That's my thing, you know, the fishing. I'll lay the, I'll lay the groundwork out down there, then you come down.

FRANK: I fish nice, I relax.

FRITZY: You come down, I'll get you, I'll get you away from that jungle for a little while.

FRANK: No drinking, I run the beach.

FRITZY: You hear? I'll tell 'em I need California to take care of me.

FRANK: You hear? I run the beach. I run the beach from one end to the other.

FRITZY: We'll put each other in shape. We'll put each other in shape.