the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 20

"Mussolini," a TV mini-series starring George C. Scott as Il Duce, is the impetus for talk about the mingling of Italian blood. First, a discussion of the Ethiopian theater: Frank thinks Italy lost, Fritzy thinks they won. But the guys agree that Italian soldiers left a legacy, of sorts. And when it comes to a prospective new heart for an ailing Fritzy, he's opting for a late-model European import. (3:24)

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FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Frank: Mussolini, if he didn't go with [UI], he would have been one of the greatest men of today.

Fritzy: My God, your uncle.

Frank: With, with Germany.

Fritzy: Imagine your uncle, what a guy.

Frank: If he didn't go...

Fritzy: Morris don't, Morris don't like him. Right?

Frank: Didn't you hear what he says, uh, Mussolini?

Fritzy: What?

Frank: He says, "There's a guy in Germany, he wants your autograph and your picture."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: He says, "How many men has he got?" "25,000," he says. Forget about it. Remember that part?

Fritzy: You know what I liked? He says, "One day Italy will come back and will be respected and feared," he says.

Frank: He couldn't even beat the cannibals up. They ran after him with spears. He says, "Use the mustard gas on 'em, they eat you," he says. You hear what he says? "They [In Italian, eat], they eat you. They put you in the pot and cook you." He says, "Use the mustard gas."

Fritzy: I'll tell ya, he played a nice part. He's a good actor.

Frank: The Ethiopians kicked the shit out of the Italians.

Fritzy: Giovinezza.

Frank: He said, "Make sure they sing "Giovinezza." Otherwise, they'll eat you," he says. "Use the mustard gas."

Fritzy: When are ya, let me tell you something. When are you gonna learn that Italy could have taken all of Africa? They took Ethiopia, alright? But do ya know what happened? These fuckin' greaseballs, they like, they like humpin' black girls. They humped all the Ethopians out there. They did.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah, they got a lotta, forget about it, they loved, well, first of all, the Ethiopians are the most beautiful African people. Well, actually, the most beautiful black people in the world.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: Too bad we looking at them now that they're starving. But if you look at their features, even the, the way they starving, you see how beautiful their faces are.

Frank: Uh-huh.

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