the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 40

It's an evening of fabulous food and wine as Frank and Helen (Mr. Condo's gal) play host to a Caribbean hotelier and a sizable entourage. The guest of honor promises to reciprocate by putting up his friends--anywhere but Saint Maarten--when they head to the islands. And as for that garbage pail Giamberto, he'd better not cross Fritzy's path. (7:39)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Frank: I took this guy down to Giamberto's.

Fritzy: Uh-huh?

Frank: Marone. He ate like a duke.

Fritzy: Ya, ya give, did ya sign? I hope ya signed.

Frank: I did.

Fritzy: Good.

Frank: ...for him. Nah, I made the guy, I'm gonna make 'em pay?

Fritzy: No, no, no.

Frank: Forget about...

Fritzy: I know, I know ya ain't gonna make him pay.

Frank: [UI]

Fritzy: But I hope you signed, like, uh.

Frank: Hey.

Fritzy: What?

Frank: I ate one of the best meals I ever had.

Fritzy: He made, for you, yeah?

Frank: Well, that's the guy, Georgie.

Fritzy: [UI]

Frank: He, Georgie took care of 'em like a duke.

Fritzy: Yeah, huh?

Frank: He says, "The wines this guy's got," he says, "my God." He made 'em that, the macaroni with the green?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: Ya know, the whattya call the?

Fritzy: The basile sauce? The, uh, the basil sauce? Yeah?

Frank: He made that and then he made 'em a big veal chop, ya know [UI]

Fritzy: Yeah, huh, with the leg on.

Frank: On top he put on the big Italian mushrooms.

Fritzy: Yeah, yeah?

Frank: Those big mushrooms.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: And his wife had a, a lobster. Oreganata.

Fritzy: And they enjoyed.

Frank: They enjoyed it. And the other guy had the veal chop. He had a newspaper guy with him, a friend of his from Saint Maarten.

Fritzy: Uh-huh?

Frank: He says, "Frank, I don't know how to thank you. Thank you."

Fritzy: So you.

Frank: I says, "You're gonna be here a while, don't worry, I send you some other place where you can go and enjoy yourself."

Fritzy: That's.

Frank: [UI] the woman go down there, they go and eat, ya eat over here, he'll take care of them.

Fritzy: That's right.

Frank: He's a nice guy.

Fritzy: That's good.

Frank: He says, "I'm," he says, "I was disappointed they didn't come."

Fritzy: Cal, one thing I, Cal, let me tell ya something. You, you're a good entertainer, you take care of people, that there, I gotta say that there.

Frank: Then, he says, "In a way," he says, "I was a little disappointed, but not too mad."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: He says, "They were comin' with 18 people." He says, "When your wife came, she says, 'Uh, six, eight, ten, twelve.'"

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: "Eighteen."

Fritzy: How could ya impose on anybody?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: I mean, the truth.

Frank: He says, "That takes my whole restaurant."

Fritzy: How can ya impose on anybody like that? You can't. You can't.

Frank: But he says, "Whenever they come down," he says, "I don't care what it is Frank, believe me," he says. "They're my guests. Don't worry about it."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: "See, I want them to go over there, a couple of joints, a jazz place or somethin'," I says. "Don't worry about it. They're my guests."

Fritzy: Yeah, the Blue Note.

Frank: [UI] very happy.

Fritzy: They go around to the Blue Note.

Frank: The Blue Note? Where? I, [UI] "Eddie Condon's," I tell 'em.

Fritzy: Eddie Condon's? Yeah, they better? The Blue Note's got nice talent.

Frank: Eddie Condon's up there.

Fritzy: But the Blue Note's been puttin' on some nice shows.

Frank: Where? What Blue Note?

Fritzy: How 'bout the, the, the the Red Star, or the, uh, Lone Star.

Frank: Over there. That's where I sent 'em, all those joints.

Fritzy: Yeah? The Lone Star Cafe, that's got a, a, a, whattya, that's a cowboy joint.

Frank: Yeah, a cowboy place.

Fritzy: Yeah. They oughta like that.

Frank: And Bruce gave us two houses where they could stay.

Helen: One is in Saint Barts.

Frank: One is in Saint Barts.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: And the other one is in Jamaica.

Helen: Gorgeous houses.

Frank: You should see them, marone.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Helen: Tell Fritzy...

Frank: The guy that owns the hotel in Saint Maarten. [Aside to Helen] What's the name of the hotel?

Helen: Saint Barts. No, in Saint Barts.

Frank: What's the name of the hotel?

Helen: I don't know. He never told me the name.

Frank: He owns the hotel there.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: I met him.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: He says, "Whenever they come, they come down, I'll give it to 'em at a cheap rate."

Fritzy: Oh, he, I thought he was givin' it for nothin'.

Frank: Nah, he can't.

Fritzy: Eh, he, I thought, I thought he was...

Frank: He rents these two houses out.

Fritzy: He rents 'em.

Frank: This guy, he's in the hotel business. How could he give them a, uh...

Fritzy: I thought he was a, uh...

Helen: Tell Fritzy they're gorgeous.

Frank: Out of this world.

Fritzy: I don't have to rent where I go.

Frank: I know.

Fritzy: I get it on [Italian].

Frank: Oh, you can get it on [Italian].

Fritzy: Sure.

Frank: Well, that's better than...

Fritzy: [UI] Saint Barts, Saint Thomas and, uh.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Saint, uh, Helen. Uh.

Frank: But he told me the place to go there now is Saint Barts.

Helen: Yes, that's it.

Frank: He says because Saint Maarten now is loaded all the niggers.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: And Saint Barts. How long is that away from there?

Helen: You could see it. It's a small island.

Fritzy: Well, you see it, don't, Saint Bart don't, I don't think Saint Barts got an airport.

Frank: He said it's beautiful there.

Fritzy: Ya have to take a boat, though.

Frank: [UI] by boat.

Fritzy: That's right.

Helen: You could go by boat or a small plane.

Frank: Boat.

Fritzy: And ya go there, and in Saint Bart every Wednesday they got, they got the fish market. Every, all, all the natives come to Saint Barts from all the islands. They come there, they got a big fish market. They got all produce.

Frank: [Aside] They got a fish market there where all the people go and...

Fritzy: They all come. And people.

Helen: It's beautiful, Frank.

Fritzy: And people from Saint Maartens, like, they go to Saint Barts for the fish.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: They all go over there for the fish. It's not too long a ride.

Frank: He told me that's the place, though.

Fritzy: Yeah, huh?

Frank: In other words, uh, he says, "Over here it's like, uh, commercial."

Fritzy: It got too commercial.

Frank: Yeah. It's too comm, eight months he says. "How do you, how do you do down there?" He says, "Well, I rent for eight months."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: "And then I'm off four months."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: Now he's off now.

Fritzy: Uh-huh.

Frank: They don't.

Helen: [UI] goes back in November.

Frank: He goes back in November.

Helen: He's gotta be there for November.

Frank: He starts to go back. He says, "Now it starts," ya know. He has other people run the restaurant, but him and his wife, they take off. And he's got one of the chefs with him too, he had.

Fritzy: Would you like to live like that there? A beach, a beach, uh, comber.

Frank: He looks good this guy, too, huh?

Fritzy: Right.

Frank: He's an Irish guy.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Yeah. An Irish guy. But he's a nice guy, though.

Fritzy: Well.

Frank: "Whenever they come, they're my guests. Don't worry about it." I says, "Maybe 24 people?"

Fritzy: Uh-huh.

Frank: He start laughin', he says, "Whatever you got, Frank. Don't worry about it." He says, "My pleasure to help any of they, the, Bruce's friends and you especially now that I met you," he says. "You're a wonderful guy."

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: And he says. He went to Ennio and Michael's and eat.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: And now he went down there.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: "Frank," he says, "Forget about it."

Fritzy: They killed him over there.

Frank: "I'll eat here," he says.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: "As long as I'm, I'm gonna eat here every night," he says. Imagine the, the food down there, I can't believe it.

Fritzy: Who's the guy that, what's the guy, the coffee guy in Benny Eggs' joint? What's uh?

Frank: The who?

Fritzy: The, the guy, the coffee, uh, guy there?

Frank: J.C.?

Fritzy: Yeah, J.C.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: J.C. was sayin' that on 73 or 77, seventy-somethin', uh, Thompson.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: They put up a little Italian restaurant there?

Frank: You're kiddin'?

Fritzy: He says the food is great.

Frank: No kiddin'?

Fritzy: Neapolitan.

Frank: Yeah? We gotta go there.

Fritzy: Yeah, he was sayin'. Little, little place, but, ya know?

Frank: Oh. When I went, ya hadda call for reservation. I got the reservation, a half-hour I had to wait. They make them wait there. We were in the bar over there, we...

Fritzy: Yeah, so in other words, when you went there...

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: Everything was waitin' for ya.

Frank: Then we went there, the table was there. The place was packed.

Fritzy: No kiddin'?

Frank: Packed. There's a line waitin'.

Fritzy: He couldn't...

Frank: And limousines there.

Fritzy: He couldn't, Giamberto couldn't wait to get rid of your friend. Giamberto couldn't wait to...

Frank: [UI] everybody.

Fritzy: ...couldn't wait to get rid of your friends, Giamberto. What a, what a piece of work.

Frank: He's a, he's, he...

Fritzy: Alright?

Frank: He's not downstairs, though.

Fritzy: A snake in the grass.

Frank: He'll stay upstairs, the guy don't want him downstairs in the dining room.

Fritzy: Yeah, he should put him down the cellars.

Frank: He's not in the kitchen either.

Fritzy: Is there any room down the cellar?

Frank: That's where he's goin'.

Fritzy: Put him down there, let 'em, let 'em make dough. Let 'em make dough down there.

Frank: He ain't allowed to cook, he ain't allowed to touch nothin'.

Fritzy: This [Italian], this ain't even a...

Frank: Helen, the limousines were lined up, huh?

Fritzy: He can't even wash a good dish, this guy.

Frank: Limousines there, everything.

Fritzy: No kiddin'?

Frank: Oh, all heavy money people down there. All beautiful people.

Fritzy: Alright?

Frank: That's the guy downstairs, he, he, he's on the floor like a gazelle.

Fritzy: Okay.

Frank: How easy he works. And Giamberto's upstairs with the pizza customers.

Fritzy: [In Italian, what a piece of shit.] He's outside, uh, he's on the outside post.

Frank: Yeah, he wears a different outfit.

Fritzy: That's where he belongs.

Frank: So Georgie wears the outfit like the waiters.

Fritzy: Yeah, right.

Frank: The tie and the suit.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: He has to have a different, like, you know, he wants them to show he's the big boss, ya know. Ya know, he has like a black outfit, ya know?

Fritzy: Well, that's a garbage pail and a half.

Frank: [UI] dress now and he still looks dirty. That is a garbage pail.

Fritzy: [UI]

Frank: Don't worry.

Fritzy: Eh, eh.

Frank: You'll come when...

Fritzy: The guy, the guy up above, the guy up above watches over those people.

Frank: You come with me and see.

Fritzy: Yeah. It'll be my pleasure.

Frank: You're gonna be the interpreter.

Fritzy: Yes, yes, yes. I know the language very well.

Frank: You'll get your satisfaction.

Fritzy: Yes, yes. He [In Italian, speaks Italian well.]

Frank: I know.

Fritzy: He [In Italian, speaks very well.]

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: He [In Italian, speaks Roman very well, speaks Roman.]

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: [In Italian, yes.]