the frank and fritzy show

EPISODE 14

Frank gets in on the action when Fritzy receives a tip on Mr. Sumo, a horse running in the sixth race at Belmont Park. While bookmaker Fritzy knows his way around a pari-mutuel window, clueless Frank just cares about the payoff. After dispatching his son to OTB, Fritzy offers another tip: some dental advice for Frank's aching girlfriend. (5:34)

Listen here:

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Fritzy: Hey, I got a tip for you today.

Frank: Wha?

Fritzy: You see Baldy, tell him Mr. Sumo's, uh, very good today.

Frank: Who?

Fritzy: Mr. Sumo.

Frank: Sumo?

Fritzy: It'll be too late, it's in the sixth.

Frank: Where, where's...?

Fritzy: Three-thirty, New York.

Frank: At New York?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: Six-thirty [UI]?

Fritzy: No. At 3:30.

Frank: Oh, that's too...

Fritzy: [Aside to his son Freddie, Jr.] You go, you go down there? C'mere, I'll give you a bet. Here, let me give him a bet, he's goin' down there. You goin' now? Oh, you know what you do? Take Mr. Sumo. They're gonna be in exactas. Take a look, I'm gonna make three ex...You want a half of this?

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Alright. I'll make make $50 exactas. One, two, three...eh.

Frank: How much could we win?

Fritzy: I'll tell ya what...

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: If it wins it [UI]...C'mere, write this down, I'll give you the picks. C'mere, Freddie, bring my glasses. C'mere, I'll go two, a hundred dollars apiece. I let him do the bettin' over here. C'mere, gimme the, gimme the paper Freddie. Write this down, you got a pen?

Frank: Wait a while.

Fritzy: Go get a pen. [Aside, to his son] I know, don't give me your dream. Hello? He went to get a paper. The sixth.

Frank: Go ahead.

Fritzy: Okay. Mr. Sumo on top.

Frank: Mr. Sumo?

Fritzy: Mr. Sumo. S-U-M-O.

Frank: F-U?

Fritzy: S-U-M-O.

Frank: F?

Fritzy: No, S. Like Sammy.

Frank: S-U-M-O.

Fritzy: Okay. Mr. Sumo...

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Okay, he's on top. Now we're gonna use Fun Loving Boy.

Frank: Fun?

Fritzy: Fun Loving Boy.

Frank: Fun Loving Boy.

Fritzy: Saltine Warrior.

Frank: Who?

Fritzy: Saltine Warrior.

Frank: Saltine?

Fritzy: Yeah, like saltines, the crackers.

Frank: Saltine...

Fritzy: Warrior.

Frank: ...Warrior.

Fritzy: And Getting Over.

Frank: Warrior, and who?

Fritzy: Gettin' Over.

Frank: Getting...

Fritzy: Over.

Frank: ...Over.

Fritzy: Sixth in New York. And we're gonna put 50 to win on Mr. Sumo just...

Frank: Sixth at New York.

Fritzy: Okay, now that's gonna be $50 exactas and then we're gonna put $50 on Mr. Sumo if it wins and the other ones run out.

Frank: Fifty to win.

Fritzy: Okay. So it's $200.

Frank: And, uh, how much on the other ones?

Fritzy: And, that's a $50 exacta.

Frank: And $50 exacta? The whole four, all four horses have to win?

Fritzy: No.

Frank: Wha?

Fritzy: Our horse has to win on top.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: And then one of these other three have to come second and we got like a daily double.

Frank: Eh, a daily double. I...

Fritzy: That's like, uh, exacta, ya know?

Frank: That's 50 to win and 50 for this here?

Fritzy: Fifty on each one, like uh, combinations over here. Fifty exacta on each one. That's 150 and $50.

Frank: And 50 exacta.

Fritzy: Okay. That's 200, we're a buck apiece.

Frank: Okay.

Fritzy: Alright?

Frank: Right.

Fritzy: Okay. He's goin' down. That's the kid Anthony, that's his, uh, Sumo Container, you know, that's the, uh, place in the airport?

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Yeah. That's his horse, Mr. Sumo.

Frank: He's gonna win, he says?

Fritzy: He said it.

Frank: No kiddin'?

Fritzy: Yeah, they called and he says, "And don't go crazy." Well, I'm not, I...

Frank: Okay.

Fritzy: [Aside, to his son] Here, you got money for yourself, Freddie? Okay.

Fritzy: Alright.

Frank: Alright, pal.

Fritzy: Okay, I'll see you, uh, where you goin' tomorrow?

Frank: I don't know. I might go out.

Fritzy: Yeah, huh?

Frank: Helen had her teeth [UI] mouth...

Fritzy: Oh, how's her mouth? Did the, the pain go away?

Frank: She went to the dent, she went there today, he says, "That's to be expected." But that pain, "It'll be, it'll be gone," he says.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: There's no infection or nothin', he looked at her mouth.

Fritzy: Yeah. She doin' some mouthwashes, hot, hot water washes, she'll be alright. Few days. Do hot...

Frank: Ya know, it's that new way they do it. They don't cut with the scissors or the, the scalpel. They use some kind of burning and they cut the whole thing down, no blood or no nothin'.

Fritzy: Go the drugstore, write this down, will ya', write...

Frank: What's the Amondent for?

Fritzy: That's the stuff you put in your mouth.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Alright? And you wash your mouth out. I'll try to see if I got any up here.

Frank: Amondent.

Fritzy: Amondent.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: Yeah, tell...

Frank: He says, "Just wash your mouth with water..."

Fritzy: Yeah, well he, he, a cocksucker. He coulda give her something to relieve her. Ya know?

Frank: He gave her, uh, some, whattya call it, painkillers.

Fritzy: Yeah, okay. But I'm talkin' about mouthwash.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: It'll relieve the mouth. It'll stop, it started healing quicker.

Frank: Amondent?

Fritzy: Yeah. Amondent. Tell her, say it's a, it's a peroxide powder.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Write it down. Peroxide powder. Amondent.

Frank: A-M?

Fritzy: A-M-O-N-D-E-N-T.

Frank: A-M-O-N?

Fritzy: O-N-D-E-N-T.

Frank: D?

Fritzy: E-N-T.

Frank: E-N-T. Am-on-dent.

Fritzy: Amondent.

Frank: A powder?

Fritzy: Yeah. Tell 'em it's a peroxide powder. Okay?

Frank: Peroxide...

Fritzy: Powder.

Frank: ...powder.

Fritzy: And she mixes it with water. It comes in little containers. Like little..

Frank: What does it do?

Fritzy: And it, it, it starts to bubble up, like, uh, peroxide, in your mouth.

Frank: Yeah?

Fritzy: And tell her not to spit it out, leave it in her mouth for a minute. Don't swallow it.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Just wa, rinse and keep it in her mouth.

Frank: Uh-huh.

Fritzy: And with very, very little water. She puts in a drop or two in.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: She just puts a little bit in her mouth, and then it starts to bubble up, bubble up, bubble up. Just spit it out and don't wash it out, tell her.

Frank: And it eases her mouth?

Fritzy: Yes, she, she'll see the difference.

Frank: Yeah.

Fritzy: Yeah, 'cause I had that done, ya know?

Frank: Peroxide Amondent, huh?

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: Alright.