EPISODE 30

Remarkably, Frank has something in common with a 90-year-old nurse--and it's a mind- and body-altering experience he describes in glorious detail. And since Fritzy's heart is enlarged (while something else has apparently shrunk), Dr. Condo recommends a similar ritual cleansing for his buddy. (6:26)

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FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

Frank: Who do ya think has got the beans and the escarole?

Fritzy: Who?

Frank: Me. I got it here.

Fritzy: Good. You're gonna eat healthy.

Frank: I'm gonna have a dish now.

Fritzy: That guy made me fuckin' cook them things, he comes over with macaroni and...

Frank: I took the whole fuckin' thing home.

Fritzy: Is this guy alright? He comes over with meatballs and fuckin' sauce.

Frank: He's crazy. Whattya gonna do? He's nuts. I got the nice fagioli in the icebox over here. I'm gonna take a little bit out of the...

Fritzy: And I told him I was gonna make it. I told him I was gonna make it.

Frank: That's gonna be my desert for a, after.

Fritzy: Good.

Frank: I got my Seven and Nine. I got this co, colon cleanser. I took it last night.

Fritzy: Yeah?

Frank: Marone. You see the stuff that comes outta your colon, Freddie. Oh.

Fritzy: Somebody told me about that.

Frank: I look in the fuckin' toilet.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: God almighty. There were strings and [In Italian, excrement]. The black and shit. Oh my God.

Fritzy: How, how often you gonna do that?

Frank: Huh?

Fritzy: Once a week?

Frank: You do it as often as you want.

Fritzy: But once a week should be good.

Frank: It's a, it's a healthy formula. It's two bottles.

Fritzy: Yeah, huh?

Frank: A big bottle, one is a liquid.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: And one is a powder. You put two, uh, one teaspoon of the powder in the wa, in the thing. And then ya, ya put it into the, you put the water and then you put two, two teaspoons of the liquid.

Fritzy: Uh-huh.

Frank: Then you put it in a mix, you gotta mix it, 'cause it turns into a gel.

Fritzy: Yeah.

Frank: And you drink that down. Last night I had it. Mamma mi.

Fritzy: And you shit good, eh?

Frank: It's a good thing I didn't take those pills that go with it. I didn't take the fuckin' pills.

Fritzy: Why not?

Frank: Nah, the fuck, I don't want it. It was just a laxative, like it is. I just took that there, but I went.

Fritzy: Well, try it with the pills next time, maybe you, you push out some more.

Frank: Poison. All poison in the fuckin'...

Fritzy: Jeez, that's great.

Frank: The nurse told me to do this where I went for the high colonic.

Fritzy: Marone.

Frank: She's right. The high colonic, she's takin' 'em, she's, she looks like 90. She's, she's 90, she looks like 50. You should see the shape she's in.

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