Problems with the wife? Nothing Fritzy can't temporarily fix with a little loving and a few fazoolas. Problems with mother? Well, that's another story. Mom won't move out of the old neighborhood -- but at least she doesn't hit Fritzy over the head with a cane. (3:42)

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

FRANK: Hello, Freddie.

FRITZY: How are you?

FRANK: Alright.

FRITZY: I haven't spoken to you in a few days. I miss you.

FRANK: I know. I called your mother up yesterday.

FRITZY: You did?

FRANK: She wasn't home.

FRITZY: She went to the doctor.

FRANK: Alright?

FRITZY: Yeah, they took her to the doctor.

FRANK: I called you up and you wasn't home.

FRITZY: Ah, I had my problems I had to take care of.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Well, you know. Nah, nah. Things are getting straightened out with her a little bit.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Yeah, she's startin' to act nice.

FRANK: Huh?

FRITZY: Startin' to act a little nicer now.

FRANK: Yeah?

FRITZY: Yeah, it got a little better. I gave her a couple of humps and things got better.

FRANK: Yeah?

FRITZY: Yeah, yeah.

FRANK: The pipe went up, huh?

FRITZY: Yeah, sure. Meantime, I gave her a few fazoolas 'cause she says, ya know, this, I says, 'What are you? Whatever you need I give you. What's the matter?' You know, she says, 'I need a couple of, you know, a couple.' Ehh, I says, 'Here.' 'Oh, that's very nice of you.' I says 'Well, what is it something strange that I?' 'No, no. This and that.' So she was finally all that day. Then I give her a little drill and everything got a little better.

FRANK: She told you she loved you?

FRITZY: Sure.

FRANK: What'd she say? "I love you honey."

FRITZY: Yeah, but you know, I keep it a little, ya know.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: 'Cause otherwise it gets a little too carried away and then and next week the same fuckin' story is going to happen, so I know what I'm doin'. Hey, hey. I got, you know. My mother, you know, I'm just starting to, starting to get her a little straightened out. She turned around. Look, I would leave her be and I wouldn't worry about her but she's in a fucked up neighborhood. You know what I mean? It's, she's got a couple of nice neighbor, neighbors over there. The, the fuckin' neighborhood became all Puerto Ricans over there.

FRANK: No kiddin'.

< 1 2 >