Frank: Hello my [UI], how are you?
Fritzy: Dinty Moore's beef stew.
Frank: Dinty Moore? What'd you buy it in the can?
Fritzy: Nah, nah, nah, homemade.
Frank: Huh?
Fritzy: Homemade, homemade.
Frank: You musta mixed it.
Fritzy: What mixed it? I don't mix. I, I come from the ground. I start from the floor.
Frank: How's everything there?
Fritzy: Hey.
Frank: Is it safe to talk? You might have a bug in the house.
Fritzy: I got one up my ass. She, she you know something? She's didn't bug, I find out the story. On a Sunday, when I was over here...
Frank: Yeah.
Fritzy: ...'Cause I called her everything. I says, "You the lowest form of a person. To do somethin' like that, to put a tap." I says, "I turn around," I says, "I had too much dignity, I could have found out who's causing me trouble three years ago, who you talk, who you chat." I says, "I never done that there because I, I don't wanna invade the privacy of my children," I says. You know, who knows, the kid is talkin' and whatnot. I wasn't gonna, you know what I mean?
Frank: Yeah.
Fritzy: Start to do that there. I wasn't a prying parent like that, I didn't do that to the, you know, to that way, to go that way. I says, "And that's why I didn't listen in, but you done..." That [UI] she says, "I, well I didn't tap it. I only listened in. On that Sunday morning, I went outside from the basement to take Carolann [Fritzy's daughter, a young equestrian] to the horses. I went back upstairs to get something that Carolann forgot and I went upstairs, opened the door and went in and I heard you talkin'," she said, "'cause was I gonna call down when I opened up the uh, the [UI] I heard you talkin' on the phone, I picked up the phone and I listened to the conversation." Alright?
Frank: Huh.
Fritzy: In the meantime, oogatz. Oogatz. Alright.
Frank: Why'd she go listen to the conversation?
Fritzy: She said she heard me talking on the phone downstairs, she heard me talkin'. The fuck [UI]. She's fuckin', her brain was just constantly fuckin' moving how to fuckin' trap me. "Let me see which way, I'll go out, come back in, see whatever I gotta do." It's in her fuckin' head. You know [UI] I didn't argue [UI]. [UI] Today it loosened up a little bit. You wanna know somethin'? I, I been feeling woozy.
Frank: He's feelin' woozy now.
Fritzy: Well, you know I hollered.
Frank: The nerves, huh?
Fritzy: Fuckin' you know...
Frank: The nerves are goin' up.
Fritzy: Sure, sure you know. Well, she's been the cause of my fuckin' trouble. I know where the trouble came, for ten years.
Frank: Yeah. Did Geronimo call her?
Fritzy: Who?
Frank: Geronimo.
Fritzy: Geronimo?
Frank: The big giant.
Fritzy: I don't know.
Frank: You didn't ask her?
Fritzy: No. We're not talking, what the fuck am I gonna ask her?
Frank: Well, you coulda asked her that, you coulda says, "Did Tony call ya?"
Fritzy: Well, I'll ask her that tonight.
Frank: Uh-huh.
Fritzy: I'll ask her that. But she didn't say a fuckin' word.
Frank: No, huh?
Fritzy: She's after me and you.
Frank: Me?
Fritzy: Yeah.
Frank: Why?
Fritzy: She says, "'Cause you told Frankie." I says, "What the, what the fuck you after him? What are you after him for?" "That's alright."
Frank: What'd she say?
Fritzy: ' Cause she heard me talkin' to you.
Frank: Yeah.
Fritzy: Remember that day when I was goin' "Ah-ha, ah-ha"? She's this, this, and that. What do you think she done? She tapped the phone, la la. Meantime, "Oh yeah? Well you tell Frank everything. He must be callin' me all kinda names. Wait'll I tell him my fuckin' side. Wait'll I tell them. You told him? I'm gonna go tell the other guy, the other guy my fuckin' side of the story. What 'til I tell him how you fuckin' mistreat me, how you this, how you that, ba-bing, ba-boom, ba-boom" What a fuckin' song and a dance I hadda fuckin' hear. "Wait, you wanna tell Frankie all the bullshit I, what I, wait'll I tell him what the fuck you do. And dis and dis and dat and what not and all the things. Yeah, you goin' with an ex-junkie, you're goin' with this..."
Frank: An ex-junkie?
Fritzy: She called her a junkie. She went with a guy who used to take the fuckin', used to snort, uh, coke.
Frank: Who's that?
Fritzy: An old boyfriend.
Frank: Gail?
Fritzy: Yeah, yeah. So she calls her the same thing, you know what I mean? She...marone.
Frank: [UI] junkie.
Fritzy: What?
Frank: You better get the test.
Fritzy: Mamma mi. Imagine all this fuckin' harpoonin' I been gettin'? "Go ahead, go away, run away, good. You're young now, you lost thirty pounds. You're young, so go be young with her."
Frank: Uh-huh.
Fritzy: I gotta listen to all this fuckin' nonsense. My God, I didn't believe the fuckin' conversation. You know?
Frank: There's no end, huh?
Fritzy: Well, I'll tell you the truth. I gotta face facts. Without a doubt. That girl over there I know is not for me because she's uh, ya know, too old. And down the line I gotta have trouble. You know what I mean? That's one thing. Okay, I, I, I know that so I'll put that aside. But this girl is never given me any fuckin' peace, you know how fuckin' long this is goin' on? She's hot, she's cold. I gotta, you know what I gotta do? I gotta go blind, in other words, I gotta fuckin', I can't talk and can't see...
Frank: Helen says...
Fritzy: ...I gotta walk with bastone [Italian for cane]. Then she, then I'm all right.
Frank: She's madly in love with you.
Fritzy: With me?
Frank: Didya hear?
Fritzy: Why?
Frank: She knows.
Fritzy: She knows what?
Frank: Don't forget they're away for a couple of weeks, you know.
Fritzy: Who's madly in love with me?
Frank: Carol.
Fritzy: But what does that mean? I know she's in love with me.
Frank: She's madly in love with you and she can't share you with nobody.
Fritzy: You know I was looking up in the sky today. Listen to this.
Frank: You hear Helen? "I don't blame her, she loves her husband."
Fritzy: Listen to this here. Ah, Frankie.
Frank: Helen said she's a good woman...
Fritzy: C'mere.
Frank: ...you can't beat her, but what are you gonna do?
Fritzy: C'mere, listen.
Frank: Yes, my friend.
Fritzy: I was lookin' up in the sky.
Frank: And what'd ya see up there?
Fritzy: I saw Fat Dom. And he's lookin' down, he's laughin'.
Frank: You saw him?
Fritzy: He says...
Frank: No, no, go the other way, huh?
Fritzy: C'mere, no, he's...
Frank: [UI]
Fritzy: He had a, no he didn't call, he just laughed, he says, "I told you to watch out for the fuckin' knife. Watch out." And the fuckin' truth, she had a funny look on her fuckin' face the other day. I'm laying down, I says, and she's looking at my fuckin' back, ya know?
Frank: Not gonna share you with nobody.
Fritzy: I says, "This bastard's gonna fuckin' stab me." I says the fuckin' words of [UI] Dom are gonna come true. I look at Dom, I says, "Dom, forget about it." Alright? [In Italian, "This one here, what she's doing to me."]
Frank: Uh-huh.
Fritzy: I got my own troubles with my mother, Frankie.
Frank: How is she by the way?
Fritzy: Ah, ya know, she's alright but she, she's, ya know, she's mixed up with this doctor. I gotta go myself with her.
Frank: Your father done it to her.
Fritzy: What?
Frank: Your father done it to her.
Fritzy: My father?
Frank: Yeah.
Fritzy: No.
Frank: Don't you know when the mate dies that's what happens.
Fritzy: Yeah?
Frank: In the paper here, in the Post.
Fritzy: I know that.
Frank: When the loved one dies, the other one deteriorates, the mind starts to go.
Fritzy: That's true.
Frank: It's in the paper, in the news...
Fritzy: I wonder what she's gonna do, I wonder what my wife is gonna do when I die.
Frank: Huh?
Fritzy: Do you think she's gonna deteriorate, or she gonna go tap dancin' every fuckin' night? How's your aunt? Hey. Hello?
Frank: Yes.
Fritzy: What's your aunt's name again?
Frank: What aunt?
Fritzy: The aunt who buried the real, uh what's his name?
Frank: Aunt Frances.
Fritzy: Frances.
Frank: Uncle Archie.
Fritzy: What's she do? She took a piss [In Italian, "I am gonna piss on his face."].
Frank: Uncle Archie.
Fritzy: Uncle Ar..., poor Uncle Archie.
Frank: Yeah, but she loved him so.
Fritzy: Did, did she...let me ask you somethin'.
Frank: They were happy together.
Fritzy: Okay, but did she fold up because Archie died?
Frank: No, she worked and worked and worked and worked.
Fritzy: Okay.
Frank: Yeah, but her mind is gone.
Fritzy: But you see Carol? Forget about it, she's gonna tap dance everyday.
Frank: My aunt [UI] she's a little senile, she's senile.
Fritzy: [In Italian, "These stupid asses."] fuck 'em. That's why I'm doin' it now, fuck it. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?
Frank: You're laughin', huh?
Fritzy: Pal, Frankie, if I don't forget about it, I'll go fuckin', I'll go crazy.