the frank and fritzy show
EPISODE 4

Fritzy's been shopping, but we doubt he'd wear his new chapeau at the Triangle Social Club. After Frank makes himself presentable, Fritzy directs his buddy to Channel 5, where a mummy queen is looking very hot and very familiar -- and where the tsetse flies are biting. Turning to newspaper reports about a city crackdown on sex clubs like Plato's Retreat, Fritzy reminds Frank about the time they unwittingly almost took the plunge at one of New York's most notorious nightspots, the Mine Shaft. (7:06)

FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli
FRANK: Frank "Frankie California" Condo
UI: Unintelligible

FRANK: Hello.

FRITZY: Are you up and around?

FRANK: My man, how are ya?

FRITZY: Fine, fine. How are you?

FRANK: Good. How do you feel?

FRITZY: Alright, you know, comin' along.

FRANK: What's happening?

FRITZY: Wha', well, ya' know, just, uh, I took my daughter shopping this morning. I went to the Banana Republic. I bought clothes for the safari.

FRANK: No kiddin'.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: The Banana Republic.

FRITZY: Yeah, sure.

FRANK: You bought a lot of things there?

FRITZY: I bought, uh, a few pairs of khakis, you know.

FRANK: No kidding.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: And what else?

FRITZY: Uh, the kids, the kids, I bought her a bomber jacket...

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: I bought a, a, a Charles Lindbergh, uh, hat. When ya', when he flew the Atlantic.

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: I bought a hat with the goggles, I bought for myself.

FRANK: No kiddin'.

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: And a hat with the goggles?

FRITZY: Yeah, this way, if I fly, ya' know, when I go flying with my airplane I'll wear it.

FRANK: Let me put my robe on.

FRITZY: Yeah, whattya got your balls out?

FRANK: Hold it.

***

FRITZY: I want ya to....put on Channel Five, you wanna see a broad with a pair of tits? You got a TV on?

FRANK: Have I got it on?

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Why?

FRITZY: Oh, put this channel on. You, you wanna see a broad. Fuckin' tits, she's got me crazy, this one. She looks like my girl, too. Wait a minute, what chan...

FRANK: What channel is it?

FRITZY: Either Channel 5...you gotta look at her, she...it's like a, one of them Egyptian movies.

FRANK: What is it?

FRITZY: Five, put on five.

FRANK: She's got black hair?

FRITZY: Yeah.

FRANK: Who is she?

FRITZY: I want to make her my girl. You see the cobra?

FRANK: Yeah.

FRITZY: Wait'll you see her tits.

FRANK: She's a cobra?

FRITZY: No, she's...

FRANK: I watched a picture last night on Cinemax...

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: "Cousins." Marone, what a hump picture that was.

FRITZY: Yeah?

FRANK: Even the little kid they fucked. The maid fucks him and everything.

FRITZY: The kid got fucked?

FRANK: Yeah.

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