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EPISODE 32 Frank, quoting ad nauseum from a nutrition tome he has procured, tries to convince Fritzy that water is the key ingredient in the road back to good health. Frank's fractured English and sixth-grade reading level render the book's prose a tad confusing, though eminently entertaining. (6:11) BONUS: Follow the link on page two to win a copy of Frank's favorite nutrition book.
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FRITZY: Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli Frank: "Water." Fritzy: Water? Frank: "Water's not only the most abundant nutrient found in the body..." Fritzy: Yeah, but not the fuckin' water they got up there with all that... Frank: "...accounting for roughly two-thirds of body weight. It is also [UI] the most important nutrient, responsible [UI] involved in nearly every body process..." Fritzy: Yes, okay. Frank: "...including digestion..." Fritzy: Did they tell ya you're drinkin' fuckin'... Frank: Listen to me. Fritzy: They tell ya Hudson River water? Frank: Listen to me. "Digestion, absorption..." Fritzy: Yeah? Frank: "...circulation, excretion." Fritzy: That's right. Frank: "Water is the primary transporter of nutrients through the body..." Fritzy: That's right. Frank: "...and is necessary for all building functions in the body. Water helps maintain a normal body temperature and is essential for carrying waste material out of the body." Fritzy: That's right. Frank: "Nearly all foods contain water absorbed by the body during digestion. Fruits and vegetables are especially good sources of chemically pure water..." Fritzy: Yeah. Frank: "...which is a hundred percent pure hydrogen and oxygen." Fritzy: Yeah. Frank: "The average adult body contains approximately 40 quarts of water and loses about three quarts daily through excretion and perspiration." Fritzy: Right. Frank: "The rate of water loss depends [UI] upon the body level of activity and environmental..." Fritzy: Uh-huh. Frank: "...conditions and may range from less than one quart per day for a sedentary person in a temperate climate to more than ten quarts per day in a desert. If severe deficiencies are not corrected as soon as possible, salt depletion and dehydration will occur, eventually resulting in death. There are nearly as many types of water..." Fritzy: You got me drinkin' water right now. Frank: "There are nearly as many types of water as there are uses for it." Fritzy: Yeah. Frank: "Most tap water comes from streams, rivers and lakes." Fritzy: Yeah. Frank: "This surface water may contain pollutants and agricultural waste..." Fritzy: Right. Frank: "...such as fertilizer and insect..." Fritzy: Right. Frank: "...residue..." Fritzy: Right. Frank: "...that is carried by the rainwater runoff into nearby waterways." Fritzy: Yeah. Frank: "Air pollution such as lead from automobiles and factory exhaust also end up in our rivers..." Fritzy: Right. Frank: "...and our streams." Fritzy: Well, that's why I don't wanna drink that fuckin' river water. | | ||
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